Not my writing but informative to share with others...
In the BDSM lifestyle there are largely three different
types of submissives, and when speaking to them, they will tell you with
pride which they are and why. I will give you here some description of
those types but before I do so I would like to make clear something
regarding my BDSM World. Most will say a slave in comparison to a sub is
mostly a female without opinion, she is only to do as her Master
desires and in some cases without limits. I argue there is anyone
without opinion, desires and much more I do not accept any reference to
NO limits. In my way of thinking, limits are always present and even
more, a Master’s limits are actually defined by His slave/sub limits but
this is a concept I will analyse in some other post of mine. Keep in
mind that though i usually like to mention my girl as a slave I am well
aware that a slave goes with a Master when a sub goes with a Dom.
I provide you with two different copies that i find really interesting and in () i include my own personal comments
Submissive (sub) – As a sub you submit to your Dom, you give up
control for long periods of time. However you have your opinions and
your choices and you can still make them. Say you do the dishes and pay
the bills, these things usually are still under your control. It changes
only during set times and parameters. There is also the thought of the
“power balance” between dominant and submissive. Meaning that in a
submissive role although you give up the control the power is really
still 50/50 just in a different setting and under more intense
circumstances. Sex is usually a large part of this relationship and
mostly where the submission enters in. Now don’t get me wrong the
intensity is still strong and the punishments and pain are real and
overwhelming however you have more of an option to stop and this doesn’t
spill over into the everyday that much.
Slave – As a slave control is given up completely. The power balance
is completely tipped in the Dominants direction. However keep in mind
this is a choice the slave makes not something she/he was made to do.
Slaves usually are slaves 24/7 (as I explained personally I do not
believe there is part-time or 24/7. Those in BDSM lifestyle are always
part of this as it is a way of life, a way of philosophy and not
something we take a break out of it. Of course, if one anticipates BDSM
as it appears on porn movies, then is hard to understand what i am
talking about). They may work but when they get home there is no
distinction from normal day to a BDSM day, that person is always a slave
from the day they ask for that. As a slave sex is still very real and
alive however not always the goal and not needed for the Dominant and
slave to be in that persona. As a slave the lifestyle is usually (I
disagree on that “usually” and i would say the word might fit better)
more intense in pain, humiliation and just pure pleasure (It is always
about pleasure.Even when it does not involve any sexual act pleasure to
serve and pleasure to control is there. I would say instead that in a
Master/slave relationship is easier to explore the darker desires of our
soul. Talk, accept,admit,explore and find out more about fetishes and
needs that usually most people are afraid to even speak off) . Something
to remember however is that as a slave this does not mean if the
Dominant asks you to break the law or hurt yourself that you should obey
on a whim. If a Dominant is asking you to do things that are against
the law or against your moral values than he or she is not a true
dominant. (additionally how far the Master will go, how much He will
push his slave’s limits and what practices He will use are
pre-discussed, agreed and in event no matter how confident the slave is a
safe word should be agreed for any situation the slave would like to
stop what is going on. The more a Master and a slave are honest and open
with each other the better it is to understand each others needs and
what should they do at time. Honesty, communication and trust are
essential and clearly time in order to progress and enjoy more such a
relationship).
(This last one is something should not be practised by the
unexperienced, never for long periods of time and it has nothing to do
with puppy play or other similar sexual fetishes.)
Pet – This hasn’t always been a classification of a submissive person
and is still controversial in some circles. A pet is more on the side
of a slave except for one large difference, sex does not have to be
involved. In many cases it is not. If you have become a pet it is to
give up yourself and obey, you gain pleasure from the control and the
obeying not from sexual play. There can be play but it is rare in this
kind of lifestyle. This submission is one of the most dangerous because
you can lose yourself mentally because you so rarely have thoughts of
your own, you usually do not work and although you may discuss things
with your Dominant he is last say in all things.
Ultimately the deeper you go into submission the stronger you have to
be which of course is peculiar since you have to give up more of your
control with each level. But you have to be very sure of yourself to
give up every ounce of control and thought. Taking each step is serious
and should never be taken light by the Dominant and submissive,
especially if you want to remain safe, sane, and consensual.
Another comparison (from the blog of the Dungeon Master) between a slave and a submissive is the following:
slave (BDSM) — is a term often used in BDSM to connote a specific
form of submissive. A sexual roleplay or consensual slave could also be a
masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.Connotatively it
refers to highly committed domination and submission (commonly
abbreviated as D/s) relationships, as a person who has surrendered their
personal property and freedoms to another, who has become the property
or chattel of their owner(s). This term is widely used, as it has a
certain self-affirming weight.Some practitioners feel the difference
between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many
who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as one
in kind, not in degree. In particular, some slaves do not have a
naturally submissive personality, but simply choose to surrender their
will and volition to another (The are more than a few of examples of
individuals who are in a decision maker position at their professional
life but once they get back home they just put on their collar and
surrender their will)
It should be noted that the Owner/slave relationship is entered into
on a strictly consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or
modern non-consensual slavery. It is also worth mentioning that the
laws of all countries (for example the Thirteenth Amendment to the
United States Constitution) strictly forbid the practice of slavery.
Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the
Owner/slave relationship, such as wearing the owner’s collar, being
registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to)
a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or
ritualized ceremony of some type. Some people draw up a slave contract
that defines the relationship in explicit detail, but these have no
legal weight and are therefore not intended to be used in any court of
law.
In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many
people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring
ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually
invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status.
The collar may be an actual piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or
other piece of jewellery that symbolizes their slavery. These collars
are generally never removed unless or until the relationship is
dissolved, although some slaves exchange a formal collar for a more
subdued (or less obtrusive) one in work and vanilla situations.
There is considerable debate over the exact definition of the word
“slave” as it pertains to BDSM. Many people believe that you are a slave
if you consider yourself one, whilst others believe one must be in the
emotional state of Total Power Exchange or Internal Enslavement for the
term to apply.
There are differences of opinion about whether one needs to be
currently owned to be identified as a slave. Many in the Master/slave
community do not feel that ownership is a requirement.
submission/submissive (BDSM) — (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a
set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and
accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or
lifestyle context.D/s is often referred to as the “mental” side of BDSM.
Physical contact is not a necessity, and can even be conducted
anonymously over telephone, email or (more recently) instant messaging
services. In other cases it can be intensely physical, sometimes
traversing into sadomasochism. In D/s, one takes pleasure or erotic
enjoyment out of either dominating or being dominated. Those who take
the superior position are called Dominants, Doms (male) or Dommes
(female), while those who take the subordinate position are called subs
or submissives (male or female). A switch is an individual who plays in
either role (I would accept the term switch only for those who see BDSM
as a sexual play not a real lifestyle.As explained before in my opinion
there are no switches as sooner or later the one side will prevale over
the other). Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles
several times in a session. Submissives generally outnumber Dominants,
with male subs outnumbering Dommes by the widest margin, often three to
one or more. “Dominatrix” is a term usually reserved for a female
professional dominant who dominates others for pay
